pop_tarts: justin/lance (disappear up into the mountains)
[personal profile] pop_tarts
two things before we begin: a. I don't think this is very good at all - just another body-swapping scene - but it's all I've managed to write today.

b. this actually is because in the shower, I was struck with the best icon idea ever, from the Eminem lyric "I'd rather put out a motherfuckin' gospel record" than shut up. and then I sent an email, describing the livejournal post that I would make, if I had time to write. and it went something like:

'I have this incredible urge right now to make an all-eminem icon set, or at least an icon that says "gospel record", and then weigh in on every single thing that crops up on livejournal. but since nothing will ever make me ever give up the cult icon set, there's only
this scene.'

--

"Dear Lynn."

Trace shook his head. "man, they even send fanmail to me, now. I don't open'em - it gives everyone back home something to do on saturday nights."

"People send your mother fanmail, Justin," and Lance flipped through a bunch, pulling one tattered one out of the pile. "Not much, though."

"She answers it each week," Justin told him. "So the pile never gets too big."

"Here's one," and Lance opened it up. Justin tried very very hard to overt his eyes from Lance's sprawled legs. Though his mom was never really a dainty lady, not quite like Bev, still she didn't tend to sit with her legs apart like Lance really enjoyed. At least he wasn't wearing a skirt. "Dear Lynn, your son has been very inspirational in my child's life and being a mother I know that it's tough to raise a child, especially when there's so little money and so much that needs it, anyway, thank you for being inspirational and showing that celebrity families can blah blah blah."

Lance tossed it over his shoulder.

Trace offered, "they mostly write me mail about how I'm a lucky guy to be hanging out with Justin or a lecherous wannabe to be hanging out with Justin. Sometimes it's about sex."

Lance pulled another one out at random. "My little girl is twelve and she has always wanted to succeed - because of blah blah, thank you for being mother of the year, Lynn Harless."

"She is mother of the year," Justin said.

Lance threw that one over his shoulder. Trace offered again, "you should find a sexy one."

As Trace passed his beer bottle over to Lance, he rifled through the stack of envelopes. "Here, try this one."

Sure enough, when Justin leaned over Lance's shoulder he saw the word 'cock' underlined. "How did you do that?" he asked Trace.

"You get so it's easy to tell them apart," Trace said.

"Oh my god," and Lance's eyes positively lit up. "Lynn answers *all* her mail?" Justin nodded. "Can *I* answer her mail?" he said.

Justin hesitated.

Lance licked his lips, held the letter up, and started to read.

"Dear Lynn," he started. "I know that you're married, but you need something new. If I had you alone I'd spank you, spank you hard. Then I'd tie up your ankles, and lick the back of your knees--"

"the back of your *knees*?" Trace asked.

"--and blindfold you with one of your son's bandanas. and then I'd flip you over, and pull your ass up, and my fingers would leave indents in your hips so deep, and you'd have your cheek on the pillow--"

Justin got up and walked mechanically to the back of his bus. who was he kidding? this was not at all his bus anymore. Dismally, he wondered if his mom was having a good time.

He heard Trace say, "it doesn't really say that," and then Lance paused in his rendition to say in his mom's normal voice,

"it does, see, right here," and then he started breathing heavier, making his mom's voice a little deeper and totally - well, sexy. "If I were your son, I'd never stopped nursing," emphasis on the 'never'.

Trace commented, "his grammar's not very good."

--

and rae gave us an extra-special bonus scene, which is Lynn actually replying to her fanmail:

rae: heee. does she reply to the scary sex ones then.
rae: "Dear scary person: Thanks for your thoughtful letter about tying me up and having your wicked way with you. Yours, Lynn."

PS: the grouchiness is actually just my nerves being shot for non-fandom reasons.
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